Another Page, Another Chapter

What does it mean to live? When you think of the word "life" what comes to mind?

I often have days where I do nothing but sit and reflect on my life. I reflect on events that have occurred not just in my own life, but in other peoples lives. There are days, sometimes weeks, where I turn off all means of communication to cogitate on MY life.

You can almost look at ones life being a booked filled with multiple chapters. Those chapters can depict a year, day, hour, minute or second. For me I see my chapters showing development over the years- from birth until now. It's funny because I can almost remember EVERY birthday I've had, every laugh I've shared, every tear I've cried, every lie I've told. I remember! I remember those moments.

Moments... Each year, on my birthday, I do my best to reflect on the year that has passed- before the night is over. If I were to write a book it would, without a doubt, be a bestseller! I have had many joyous moments! Many sad, many boring, and many ugly moments. This is something I'm sure you have too! Even in those moments there's development, growth, expansion, progression, etc. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the person I am without those moments. I thank God for "moments". :)

With all of this being said, I continue, daily, to write yet another page, another chapter, in my life. Even though my book (life) is not finished, I often read MY book just so I don't forget who I AM! I have to keep abreast to things that concern....ME... Another page, another chapter.

Who writes the pages to your book (life)? Is it you? Or is it the people you call "friend". I dare you to review the footnotes of your life. Brush up on some of the things you "forgot" about yourself that others might not know yet. And while you look over your book, continue to jot down new things (continue living), and then reflect back on those new things and keep writing (living), another page, another chapter.

My Joy Belongs To Me

I think this post is more of a declaration rather than complaints or being sad...

I am consistently amazed at how so many people allow life and the issues they have in life, ruin their happiness! I'm sure we all know some people that are continuously depressed, anxious, malicious, etc. To keep it real, I have sometimes felt depressed, anxious, and even malicious; however, I made the choice to operate out of joy and not sadness!

There are only a FEW (to those of you that think you know) people that know my story. What I lived through growing up as a child. Being raised by a single parent, no role models, no mentors (And I did indeed ask...but...yeah). I had a good growing up but I (ME ON THE INSIDE) was a complete wreck! I didn't fully know how to check into my happiness and stay there!!! But after a while you get tired of crying yourself to sleep. I got tired of being hateful toward my family. Biting off folks heads was one of my favorite things to do (And will quickly revert back if provoked LOL jk) but it was because I wasn't happy. I let everything I encountered from my childhood coast along with me through high school and a little bit into my college career!

One day I was crying like a little baby about something. I can't remember what happened but I was indeed pissed completely off. But something clicked ya'll... I told myself "This is THEE last day I'm crying over stupid stuff." And from then on I started learning how to love myself differently. How to treat other people with that same love that I have for myself. I started to understand that no one has control over me! I chose to be happy or sad. Yes there are some things that will make you go what the hell!!! (Yes I said it, just bare with me because you know you've said it too LOL). But the point is, you recognize the issue, deal with it, and continue on in the peace that God has given you! My joy belongs to me so if you think that life, people, work, money, and all of these other things are going to get me down you have another thing coming!!!

J Moss has a song on his first CD, The J Moss Project, called "Don't Let It Steal Your Joy". It says,

"Don't let it take your joy away- No
Hold on because its almost over
Don't let it take your joy away- No
Heavens gonna answer your call
I know you're hungry- Hold on
I know you're praying- Hold on
And you've been crying- Hold on
But just make it til the morning
Keep your mind stayed on God

The part that gets me is, "Just make it til the morning". I know I used to give up a little too soon! I would be so close to the end and boom, I gave up!

I'm learning now to operate in joy! Yeah, I have a lot of things to work on but I mean really... what good am I if I were perfect? LOL Like, seriously! I like the fact that there is always room for improvement! People always say, "Your joy is coming". Um, well I disagree! You were already allotted joy at birth! It's your choice to keep it. It's your choice to let hurt rule you! I don't mean to be harsh but I'm just sayin'. The stuff really isn't THAT deep. I'm sure you'll encounter deeper as time progresses. I know I have! You'll look back and think, "Why was I so bent out of shape over that?" You know?

Just think about it. You are the owner of your joy! Manage it well! ;)

Live in the NOW

Have you ever came up on a surprise that shockingly blessed you? Whether it be someone giving you a gift, bought you dinner, or even some good advice. Well this morning I come into the office and find quite a few emails, due to being off for the holiday of course. I come across an email that I get daily from Our Daily Bread. Well today's piece is "What Is In Your Hand?"

It always amazes me how God sends you something that speaks directly to your situation. Me, being so imperfect and all leads me to believe that in my imperfections He's still there to send some relief. Okay... moving on... the message this morning was speaking on what's in front of you. Not focusing specifically on yesterday or tomorrow but today. I often tell my friends, and even myself, to "Live in the NOW".

The text begins to talk about Moses being at the burning bush. Moses was open with God and was like, "Look here, I'm scared!" LOL -My interpretation of course. "Why me, why do I have to lead the people out of bondage." Moses is so focused on tomorrow and the months and years to come and God is like DUDE! Can we focus on right now? LOL -Again, my interpretation. God asked Moses, "What is that in your hand?" What was before Moses was the shepherds rod. God explained that through God Moses could use this "wooden stick" to perform miracles. And of course Moses' faith grew and was able to fulfill the task that God asked him to do.

So you know by now I'm tripping out, right? LOL Those that know me know I get stupid crazy excited when I discover something so simple! Here I am trippin over yesterday and what could have been done differently. Then a little uneasy about tomorrow, or the months to come- like Moses; however, after reading this I'm like DUDE! Quit trippin! I am an awesome individual with a bright future- yes i just tooted my own horn! Try tootin yours for a change! LOL Since I know this, I can live for TODAY because I know that my future is going to be awesome! I can't live for today worrying about tomorrow. SOMEONE GET ON AN ORGAN AND BACK ME UP! Whew! :D

I'm going to continue to live in the NOW! Doesn't mean I have to forget yesterday or I shouldn't think about tomorrow. More like take a glance and come back to today! ;)

Release

When you meet new people, what are you initial thoughts after interacting with them? Do you say, "Hmmmm, she was kind of cool." You might even mummer, "What in the WORLD!" Either way you look at it, you'll either have a negative response or a positive response- sometimes an in between feeling. Even with those "feelings" or "judgements" you begin to get to know these people. You know? To see if they are cool and if you "mesh" well together. Then there are some you can look at and simply say, "Uh, not at all.. won't work."

I have people that I've connected with for over 10 years, 4-5 years, 1 year, 5months, 2 days, 1 hour, etc. In these connections I can most certainly say there are only four that have been the friend to me that God knew I needed them to be. Very few have been around through my dealings with my dad and family, etc. Some have stuck with me through high school- Lord help us all! LOL. Then there are some new ones that came on board during my college days- again, Lord help us all! LOL. And even more came on during my first days into the corporate world. Isn't it interesting how God sends you all of these wonderful people to be in your life and then the day comes for you to bid them a goodbye?

Goodbye? Yes indeed. You hear it all of the time, "Some friendships are seasonal, others are lifetime friendships." Well let me declare to you today that I am so shocked to find out who is seasonal and who isn't. And what makes it more interesting is that I hear God speak more to me now than I ever have. I'll leave it at that.

One thing I learned growing up, going through all that I've gone through, is to LET GO! You can not hold on to the things that hinder you and/or cause you ALWAYS feel some type of way. The only way you will have peace is if you make peace. It took me 12 stinking years to let go of the hurt that my father caused me. Have I forgotten? Come on now, of course not but I no longer let that hurt control me! I have peace! I just recently had a shift in relationships! That includes, friends, family, co-workers, etc. I let the stuff go. I tell my brother all of the time, never will Jimmy Meadows feel awkward in ANY setting! LOL And I mean it. You can't make me feel any type of way about anything! Have peace within yourself.

I'm telling ya'll, honesty is thee best way to keep peace. Being rude and honest do not fall into the same category (you idiots!). Sorry, had a moment... People think that speaking whatever is on your mind or how you feel on the spot is "keeping it real". There's no peace among confusion. How dare you shatter someone with your rendition of "keeping it real". As a Christian man, I fall short of just speaking... without thinking... the only difference between me and some others is that I can admit that I am wrong. Lord that's a whole other blog in itself! Lol

This blog is rather scattered LOL But I just needed to "release" a little bit. I'm free ya'll. And I LOVE it! You have to come to the conclusion that you are tired of the same ol same ol. Once that day comes, I promise you'll be at peace with you! Trust God, he'll show you. And then you'll be able to "release" just like I have tonight.

Much love to you all!

Simply Amazing

I am consistently amazed at how SIMPLY AMAZING God is.

I really don't even know where to begin to speak concerning the great things that have happened in my life. 

Recently there have been some drastic changes made in my life- "God" changes. I was a director at a very prominent church here in the city of Indianapolis. Not only did I direct a group, I sang and participated in other groups as well. I have a strong passion for music and I come from a family of singers and musicians. I loved directing, I loved the group that God blessed me with at the church; however, after a certain point I started noticing myself moving in another direction. Not necessarily physically but spiritually and I immediately started praying. I asked God to show me what's up? Where on earth am I going? Why am I feeling like this? He specifically told me, "There is more for you."

More for me? So after a few days to myself I started to wake up to some things. I returned to the realization that I want more for me. How funny is it that God just told me the week before, there is more for me! I had stopped dreaming and didn't know it! So, I started dreaming again. Dreaming on those things that I grew up as a child dreaming about, background singing. Singing back up for this person and that person and being highly successful in doing that! All to God's glory. I asked God to show me what I needed to do to reach those goals and make these dreams come true. For weeks I prayed. I didn't talk to anyone about this aside from my mom and my mentor. You know, some people you simply can NOT share things with. You tell them you are thinking about moving on and they'll do everything in their power to keep you where you are just because they are "stuck" and don't want you to leave them, generally speaking of course. So keeping my dialogue with others to a minimum I heard God tell me, "Let it go"....

Let it go? I'm not going to lie, I was confused for a minute. LOL But he showed me exactly what He was talking about. I had to let the group go. I had to cease participation in one of the ministries I grew up wishing I could sing in! As soon as I did that....................................................................... DOORS OPENED!!! I resigned on a Friday, that Monday and into that next week my phone rang non-stop! People came up to me asking me to sing for them. One of the opportunities happened to be a live recording that just so happens to be taking place next Friday! Just when I ALMOST started to doubt, God showed up quick and proved to me that the this was a "God" move. I have NEVER had so much peace!!! OMG! Some associations of course were abruptly ended; however, we know that often comes with the territory. Not everyone can go with you to that next level.

I guess one way to describe my feelings right now would be....... Simply Amazing.... God is just simply amazing to me.

I can't wait to share with you all this awesome journey that's in the months to come.

If you've ever doubted God, I highly recommend you to recant that doubt ;)

A New Day

When I think of the word "new" I think of something never done, never heard, or never seen. It's very interesting to me how people go into new areas of their lives with old mess or baggage **slowly raises hand**. I'm guilty too...

Lamentations 3:21-23 states:

• "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is because of Jehovah's lovingkindnesses (mercies) that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are NEW every morning, great is thy faithfulness."

Because God grants me at LEAST one new mercy everyday, that means that I can leave yesterday in yesterday.

It's a new day for me because I am finally beginning to let go of some of the things that have held me back! Things such as friendships, relationships, jobs, old emotions, etc. Those are my "yesterdays" :D. And because I have recognized my "yesterdays", it's time to start living my dream. I'm moving forward in the direction God is showing me. What I love about God is that only you and HIM know what's up with you. It's not for other people to understand. If people understood they'd still have a problem with it.

In closing, I just wanted to express some feelings of excitement in my first blog. I like the idea of writing and getting things off of your chest! It's an awesome outlet! Meanwhile, I hope someone reads this! LOL