Monday, December 13, 2010

Another Page, Another Chapter

What does it mean to live? When you think of the word "life" what comes to mind?

I often have days where I do nothing but sit and reflect on my life. I reflect on events that have occurred not just in my own life, but in other peoples lives. There are days, sometimes weeks, where I turn off all means of communication to cogitate on MY life.

You can almost look at ones life being a booked filled with multiple chapters. Those chapters can depict a year, day, hour, minute or second. For me I see my chapters showing development over the years- from birth until now. It's funny because I can almost remember EVERY birthday I've had, every laugh I've shared, every tear I've cried, every lie I've told. I remember! I remember those moments.

Moments... Each year, on my birthday, I do my best to reflect on the year that has passed- before the night is over. If I were to write a book it would, without a doubt, be a bestseller! I have had many joyous moments! Many sad, many boring, and many ugly moments. This is something I'm sure you have too! Even in those moments there's development, growth, expansion, progression, etc. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the person I am without those moments. I thank God for "moments". :)

With all of this being said, I continue, daily, to write yet another page, another chapter, in my life. Even though my book (life) is not finished, I often read MY book just so I don't forget who I AM! I have to keep abreast to things that concern....ME... Another page, another chapter.

Who writes the pages to your book (life)? Is it you? Or is it the people you call "friend". I dare you to review the footnotes of your life. Brush up on some of the things you "forgot" about yourself that others might not know yet. And while you look over your book, continue to jot down new things (continue living), and then reflect back on those new things and keep writing (living), another page, another chapter.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

My Joy Belongs To Me

I think this post is more of a declaration rather than complaints or being sad...

I am consistently amazed at how so many people allow life and the issues they have in life, ruin their happiness! I'm sure we all know some people that are continuously depressed, anxious, malicious, etc. To keep it real, I have sometimes felt depressed, anxious, and even malicious; however, I made the choice to operate out of joy and not sadness!

There are only a FEW (to those of you that think you know) people that know my story. What I lived through growing up as a child. Being raised by a single parent, no role models, no mentors (And I did indeed ask...but...yeah). I had a good growing up but I (ME ON THE INSIDE) was a complete wreck! I didn't fully know how to check into my happiness and stay there!!! But after a while you get tired of crying yourself to sleep. I got tired of being hateful toward my family. Biting off folks heads was one of my favorite things to do (And will quickly revert back if provoked LOL jk) but it was because I wasn't happy. I let everything I encountered from my childhood coast along with me through high school and a little bit into my college career!

One day I was crying like a little baby about something. I can't remember what happened but I was indeed pissed completely off. But something clicked ya'll... I told myself "This is THEE last day I'm crying over stupid stuff." And from then on I started learning how to love myself differently. How to treat other people with that same love that I have for myself. I started to understand that no one has control over me! I chose to be happy or sad. Yes there are some things that will make you go what the hell!!! (Yes I said it, just bare with me because you know you've said it too LOL). But the point is, you recognize the issue, deal with it, and continue on in the peace that God has given you! My joy belongs to me so if you think that life, people, work, money, and all of these other things are going to get me down you have another thing coming!!!

J Moss has a song on his first CD, The J Moss Project, called "Don't Let It Steal Your Joy". It says,

"Don't let it take your joy away- No
Hold on because its almost over
Don't let it take your joy away- No
Heavens gonna answer your call
I know you're hungry- Hold on
I know you're praying- Hold on
And you've been crying- Hold on
But just make it til the morning
Keep your mind stayed on God

The part that gets me is, "Just make it til the morning". I know I used to give up a little too soon! I would be so close to the end and boom, I gave up!

I'm learning now to operate in joy! Yeah, I have a lot of things to work on but I mean really... what good am I if I were perfect? LOL Like, seriously! I like the fact that there is always room for improvement! People always say, "Your joy is coming". Um, well I disagree! You were already allotted joy at birth! It's your choice to keep it. It's your choice to let hurt rule you! I don't mean to be harsh but I'm just sayin'. The stuff really isn't THAT deep. I'm sure you'll encounter deeper as time progresses. I know I have! You'll look back and think, "Why was I so bent out of shape over that?" You know?

Just think about it. You are the owner of your joy! Manage it well! ;)