Whenever I try and muster enough strength to try and figure out just what God is trying to do in my life, I instantaneously become weak. I find that there is not enough strength in the world to figure out what God is up to. Why do we as Christians, regular people, try to figure out so much of our lives? Not saying that you can't have an idea of what you want to do in life, but it's those moments where you are smacked down completely that make you think, why?
I have had the most humbling experience here recently. It is still a very live experience in that the unthinkable in my life has happened? What is it you ask? I am UNEMPLOYED! I had a good job and sought better. In my better seeking I found a position that I just knew would be wonderful for me, an excellent fit for me to advance my career. So I leave my good job for "better" and after two days on the "better" job, I was let go. And it came as a shock to me. I have never been unemployed! EVER! It was made clear to me that my previous job would be quickly hitting the downward track, and I KNOW I heard God tell me to move on, but I can honestly say I didn't hear him say where. It brings me to tears to know that I acted prematurely, when I felt that "gut" feeling that said, don't move yet. Well, I moved anyway and after two days I was let go from the "better" job.
So here I am, no job, and no money...HUMBLED! But it's funny how you move without God but he still comes to your rescue in a way. I knew after the second day that the "better" job wasn't "better" at all. A few dollars more? Of course... but no peace. I go in on day three to be told I didn't meet the expectations of the company. What did I do wrong, you ask? If I knew, I would surely tell you. I just know that God snatched me up really quick. I couldn't even blink. And when I got to my car, with my little box that I almost started to unpack, I couldn't do anything but cry. I felt like a failure, and for lack of a better word, a dumb ass.
I generally am transparent but not this transparent. So you're getting a real exclusive with this one LOL. I just couldn't hold this in because I know there are others in the same situation. This was a humbling experience for me. And I want to tell everyone whom I call friend and those that consider me their friend, just wait. Take a deep breath and chill. Don't be like me, hahahaha. I jumped the gun and here I am. But I can say this, God has gotten me through so much worse. (Insert praise break here) And yes it stings to sit here day after day waiting on the phone to ring for a job but I KNOW God to be exactly who and what he is in my life, sovereign. I am in no way perfect! I have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many flaws and imperfections but in that he still blesses me. And I know he will come thru for me, once again. This time, I don't mind waiting :0)
I love you guys!
