Sunday, December 5, 2010

My Joy Belongs To Me

I think this post is more of a declaration rather than complaints or being sad...

I am consistently amazed at how so many people allow life and the issues they have in life, ruin their happiness! I'm sure we all know some people that are continuously depressed, anxious, malicious, etc. To keep it real, I have sometimes felt depressed, anxious, and even malicious; however, I made the choice to operate out of joy and not sadness!

There are only a FEW (to those of you that think you know) people that know my story. What I lived through growing up as a child. Being raised by a single parent, no role models, no mentors (And I did indeed ask...but...yeah). I had a good growing up but I (ME ON THE INSIDE) was a complete wreck! I didn't fully know how to check into my happiness and stay there!!! But after a while you get tired of crying yourself to sleep. I got tired of being hateful toward my family. Biting off folks heads was one of my favorite things to do (And will quickly revert back if provoked LOL jk) but it was because I wasn't happy. I let everything I encountered from my childhood coast along with me through high school and a little bit into my college career!

One day I was crying like a little baby about something. I can't remember what happened but I was indeed pissed completely off. But something clicked ya'll... I told myself "This is THEE last day I'm crying over stupid stuff." And from then on I started learning how to love myself differently. How to treat other people with that same love that I have for myself. I started to understand that no one has control over me! I chose to be happy or sad. Yes there are some things that will make you go what the hell!!! (Yes I said it, just bare with me because you know you've said it too LOL). But the point is, you recognize the issue, deal with it, and continue on in the peace that God has given you! My joy belongs to me so if you think that life, people, work, money, and all of these other things are going to get me down you have another thing coming!!!

J Moss has a song on his first CD, The J Moss Project, called "Don't Let It Steal Your Joy". It says,

"Don't let it take your joy away- No
Hold on because its almost over
Don't let it take your joy away- No
Heavens gonna answer your call
I know you're hungry- Hold on
I know you're praying- Hold on
And you've been crying- Hold on
But just make it til the morning
Keep your mind stayed on God

The part that gets me is, "Just make it til the morning". I know I used to give up a little too soon! I would be so close to the end and boom, I gave up!

I'm learning now to operate in joy! Yeah, I have a lot of things to work on but I mean really... what good am I if I were perfect? LOL Like, seriously! I like the fact that there is always room for improvement! People always say, "Your joy is coming". Um, well I disagree! You were already allotted joy at birth! It's your choice to keep it. It's your choice to let hurt rule you! I don't mean to be harsh but I'm just sayin'. The stuff really isn't THAT deep. I'm sure you'll encounter deeper as time progresses. I know I have! You'll look back and think, "Why was I so bent out of shape over that?" You know?

Just think about it. You are the owner of your joy! Manage it well! ;)

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