Okay, so much has happened since my last post!!! I believe I briefly touched on a few struggles I had early last year in one of my previous blogs. But anyway, here's a recap.
So last April, I lost my job! I left a good job (looking for better - when it wasn't time to go ;) ) and started a new job that wasn't anywhere near better (didn't know it until I got there!), and got FIRED after the 1st full day of work!!! Talk about a reality check! So after about two months of being unemployed, I was able to find a gig through a temp service! Then once that was over they found another one for me. I did this for about seven months. Each day I woke up I didn't know if it would be my last day on the particular assignment because the position was indefinite. Which could mean it could last forever or last a week. It just depends.
So for these seven months, I'm not going to lie, I was extremely discouraged!!! I put up a good front sometimes. But I was hurting, and felt alone! Some of my close friends know exactly how bad I was emotionally. Losing touch spiritually, etc. I mean I pretty much tanked spiritually... I was on E... Four flat tires! The whole package. It wasn't a pretty thing for me. I had started a diet, and even set goals for myself... But because I didn't have enough faith, I fell off the diet... gained more weight! People just randomly stopped communicating with me. Friendships shifted! And much worse, I ALMOST lost my car! (Yep transparent) People throwing shade, ehhhhhh, didn't bother me too much. It stung a little but I moved on. But that working a job and still not making it? Tuh! Like, I seriously made slim to nothing while temping and basically got behind on everything. Like it was just a backward slope! But I still went to church, I still smiled, still sang, etc.
So one day, I asked the Lord when will the pain stop? When will I get a job that pays decent money and isn't temporary! When will I lose this weight that I've been battling forever now, seems like! How the heck am I going to keep my car!!! What am I doing wrong!!! And all I heard was, "Any day now". And at first I was like, dude are you serious! Then I remembered this song that a few groups in Indy sing called, "Any day now" by Craig Hayes & The United Voices... And I've been listening to it off and on for a few months now.
It says,
"Any day now, any day now, the Lord is going to do just what he said. I don't know how. All I know is any day now, the Lord is going to do just what he said."
Sometimes when you don't give me a specific time frame, I panic. So saying any day now... That just makes me slightly jumpy and nervous LOL. BUT LET ME TELL YOU! After about two weeks of crying myself to sleep and praying quietly, so my mom and brother couldn't hear me. I get called about a job that I had applied for at least two months prior to the call! Any day now... Then I landed a face to face interview. Any day now! And then I got an offer three days later.... Any day now!!! AND ALL OF THIS HAPPENED the LAST week of my temporary assignment. The assignment was going to end and the temp service had said they didn't have anything else for me.
When I tell you I haven't lost ONE thing!!! Everything is in excellent standing... And no, I wasn't shocked but more so anxious and anticipating what the Lord was going to do because I had no clue what it would be. I went, pretty much, 9 months of suffering!!! And it was all for God's glory!!! And even now, there are still some things I need and want the Lord to do, but some of it starts with me! Since the new year, I've been devoting myself to God on a daily basis... now, it's a little scattered LOL... not the same time every day but gosh darnit I GOTTA do it because I believe in him that much that I will take my entire lunch break and read my word or pray... Or lay in bed until midnight reading a few scriptures...
I know this was kind of scattered but I said all of that to say, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't give up! If you're crying out... KEEP CRYING! If you're praying... KEEP PRAYING!!! If you're fasting... KEEP FASTING!!! Keep doing what you are doing until you feel God come and shake that mess up!!! I'm telling you.
God is real y'all. And ANY DAY NOW! He's going to do just what he said he would do for you! :)
Much Love,
J Edward
(irock_soul) - twitter
